News Story

Coats, Scarves, Mittens, and Hats in Style This Winter

Parents of Many Children Outraged

          Over the past few years, keeping warm during the winter months has become something of the past. Teens have been spotted out in the snow with nothing but a t-shirt on, Children have been "forgetting their coats", and mittens have fallen off the face of the earth. However, as winter fast approaches, all of these things have been spotted in clothing stores all across the city. "This is insane!", a worried parent shouts, when questioned about the issue. If children aren't exposed to the elements, how will they ever become accustomed? If they're not allowed to become cold, how will they ever learn to keep themselves warm?
         One Penny Clarkwell also made a very interesting point. Her daughter, Nancy, has already been asking for a new winter coat for Christmas. When asked why she wanted one, Nancy replied "It's cold outside, a sweater just isn't enough". "Isn't enough? Since when?  When I was young I would walk to and from school, up hill both ways, in negative 60 degree weather with nothing but a strap shirt on. And now a sweater isn't enough? Outrageous." Penny replied. She had also begun over the previous winters to use the money saved from not purchasing winter clothing for more important things. She seemed quite distressed when we asked what she would do without it. "How will I find money for the solarium now?" she weeped.
         We don't know Penny, we just don't know. I say we take a stand - say no to providing your child with these "fashionable", yet evidently unnecessary accessories.